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My (33f) military husband (23m) may be living a double life and leading me on.
I will start out by saying that I married my husband several months ago after an intense courtship. I did not need him to support me financially, but as we talked about marriage and becoming a partnership of two people who intensely love one another, we both agreed that support should come from both sides, he and I together. We do not have children, either together or with others. We hadn't really fought a lot, though there were a couple of screaming matches where he would just walk away and I'd demand that he man up and face the issue we had at hand, but we always made up and laughed, continued to love and grew closer for it at the end.
We didn't plan on marrying so soon, and were going to get engaged and wait until after the Army to set an official date but we realized we wanted to be together, we wanted to live together and so we rushed to the courthouse on the first open day he had. We both agreed on every point of the important things two married people should stand together on, children, goals, dreams and so I saw no error in making it legally official.
As I own a home within a respectable (hour) driving distance to his work/post, we both agreed that he would live here and commute to work. The main problem is now that he has never actually moved into the home. He stayed in the barracks for an additional period of time (several months), and had a numerous group of excuses as to why he was unable to leave the barracks at that time. I actually understood and agreed with him on one point, and while it was sad to be home alone most of the time, I was as supportive as I could be, and would regularly travel to stay with him instead.
The situation as it was, was after we married, not even 5 days, he was admitted into psychiatric care on an inpatient basis. He had a meltdown in front of command and was taken into care. At the time of his intake, I had been genuinely worried as I hadn't seen anything like this coming and was scared for my husband and prepared to aquire a lawyer if needed to free my husband from what I believed to be an unfair and imposed hospitilization. After a week, I was able to visit with him and over the course of his stay, close to 30 days, he told me the truth of what had happened and told me with no uncertainty that he was 100% done with the military and would be seeking a separation discharge and that was what he wanted all along. Seeing how the military life had begun to affect his moods and how his thoughts had drastically darkened, I said that I would support him fully regardless of what he chose, but agreed, perhaps yes, another path in life would be best for him and do not actually believe him to be of a stable enough mind now to handle combat anymore anyhow.
I was scared for him, and worried for him, even scared for myself, wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into, but I had made a promise to love and support my husband through everything, be it wealth, health or anything that may stand in the way. I meant those words and I truly do still love him and feel I wouldn't be any kind of a woman at all if I wasn't willing to stand beside him through the worst of it as well as the best.
As the hospitalization came to an end, he was kept in the barracks longer so that he was available for welfare inspections, but those ended too after a time. I spent as much time as I could there with him during, but afterwards, as he said that he would and longed to, I expected him to then clear the barracks and come home to me every day after work, but no, he continued to stay in the barracks until he was finally this month forced to clear by his CoC, but he still has not come home. He told me he was ordered not to by his CoC, and that he was being forced to find housing off post and that it HAD to be in the post town.
After several heated conversations with my husband on the matter and one that resulted in my having to call the state police in order to look for him, (He threatened to burn my house down, kill himself and then went dark leaving me wondering where he was and if he were serious, so I felt it necessary to call them so that they could find and try and help him). He was located and taken into MP custody pending another evaluation of his mental faculties. (Edit: He has since admitted to me that he lied through his teeth to them, that his own father told him to lie about everything I said to the police, and to do whatever it took to make sure he wasn't hospitalized again, so he did and was released.). The NCO that I spoke to was the same NCO my husband said ordered him to live in the post town, but I was told that "He had been only been advised against moving to our home due to the distance and possible long work hours, but that he is not being forced to stay outside of the home and could live here if he wanted.". Regardless of this, my husband insists that he has to stay outside of the home, he is being forced to, and that they will make life hard for him if he doesn't follow this direct/indirect command. Having made commutes before in my work history, sometimes that is just the way it is, but I made it work and expect him to, and again, as he said he would before. I also understand there are regulations here, and I feel that the CoC is tampering with them or is he lying? With the edited revelation up top, and the admittance that he was trying to skate his way out of the Army, I now see a pattern of manipulation and lies to get his way and it's ugly.
He has kept on with this story, though changing it to "They're forcing me to live out of the home" to his friends and family, but at other times to just me, state that "He doesn't want to leave the post town because he wants to be close to work", so to me, the previously stated flags as a lie. I believe he just doesn't want to, and for some reason, lied to me about his intention from the very beginning because ...
Knowing full well and all that medically and professionally I must stay here on a full time basis at least for 2 more years, his command is helping him set up BaH and housing as a married but single soldier. They have moved him into another married soldiers home temporarily, and are now forcing him to look for other housing and his BaH on an apartment that I will not be able to reside in, and ensuring that he will not be able to use any of this to help support me, or the home we agreed would definitely be both of our responsibility if we married. He has contributed absolutely ZERO from his BaH to me, nor a dime anywhere else and has actually been costing me money instead.
The big problem with this other soldier, is that this guy has a blatant contract marriage. He has bragged about it to anyone who would listen and as word spreads rapidly in the barracks, it resulted in a counseling that forced this soldier and his new wife to live on post instead of off post as they originally attempted. This soldier has tried to encourage my husband-then-boyfriend to cheat before, and his wife has come onto my husband and many others in the post. I'm not worried about her though, surprisingly ...
To add insult to injury, from my perspective, I helped my husband get a car because he had zero credit, and have added his insurance bill on to my list of monthly responsibilities, though we agreed from the beginning that he would make both the car payment and the insurance, to which so far, he has not paid for any of the insurance.
I pay for all of our dining, food and I pay the property taxes, the utilities and regularly donate to clothing for him. I pay my own insurances and up until January 1st of '18, I have paid for 100% of my own medical and dental and optical, and I can't help but feel he is being selfish and is not fighting for me, and us, as he should.
He is afraid of his command, he has stated, and the methods I have used or sought support for in order to interfere with CoC abusing regulations have proved futile, leaving me to the point of a nervous breakdown because I just don't feel like I can continue on like this and no one ever returns calls or has any advice that leads to a resolution.
Every discussion of the situation with my husband now results in his screaming and threatening, telling me I have to just accept it, that no matter what, he is getting an apartment down there and that if I continue to bring it up, we just can't be together. He ignores my requests for financial help, promises to pay me back and just never does, but always has the time to plan on what he intends to do with his BaH back-pay and future earnings.
He keeps breaking promises to come home and I have spent more time alone, than I have with him at all. If we do get time on his 4-day weekends, it's going to HIS families, never mine, and doing what HE wants to do, or nothing at all.
I feel as if he does love me, but he has an immature way that is taking control, and I've allowed it to go on too far without putting my foot down and showing the self-respect for myself that I should have from the beginning of our troubles, which started immediately after we got married.
Back to why I'm not worried about another mans wife ...
While I'm hesitant to put it all down here, but I feel like I have to, I need to be totally honest because I need genuine advice. Since we married, I have discovered that my husband is at least bi-sexual and has upon several occasions mentioned a desire for specific types of men, now regularly making tasteless jokes to indicate that perhaps he is looking and would be open to being forced into a sexual relationship with a male and has watched/watches gay male "twink BDSM" porn.
Now, I knew before we were married that he had a bi-curiosity. I myself went through a phase and while I still find some women incredibly attractive (We can all be beautiful creatures if we allow ourselves to be), I prefer men and will always prefer men. I wouldn't get into a sexual or commitment based relationship with a woman because I just couldn't find all that I need there, and so, for me it's men. Based on what my husband had said, I felt he was the same way, however religion had more to do with it than sexuality and freedom and I honestly felt he was repressing a stronger homosexual tendency than he let on.
As truths tend to come to the surface like an erupting blackhead, before we got married and before the purchase of his vehicle, I found myself with the knowledge that he had one time before attempted to hook up with a guy less than a year before we met and married, had cruised for many others and had tried to have sex with one, which he claimed was unsuccessful because it hurt too much. I began to feel a suspicion down the road from this revelation that he was perhaps at least fishing for male attention online in the very least and for some reason, just out of the blue, I had this instinct and so I browsed what I surmised to be his favorite haunt based on previous statements (his local CL MfM) and found a post made by someone of his age and his type and what I believed he would say and request because at the time, he was pretty much rooted to base without transportation. Looking into the ad, I could SWEAR I was looking at a chin down picture of my own naked husband front and back, same penis size, same hang and the identical inclusions of muscular structure around his lower torso, both sides. Even the rear end was identical, the posture, the stance. I was sick. Upon speaking with him about it IMMEDIATELY, he denied it, tried to turn the conversation around onto me, because after all, why was I looking there, right? but then the post instantly disappeared never to be seen again. I mean instantly.
I wanted to believe him and wanted to believe that psychological damage from being lied to and cheated on before had gotten to me, and I was imagining things so we got over that hurdle, because once again, I wanted to believe him other than trust this flaring resurgence in my gut that something is amiss.
Now to the more present time, a few weeks ago, immediately after sex, my husband calls out to me from the bathroom and asks me what I see on his genitalia. To me, it looked like either a very tiny genital wart or maybe an infected follicle and I asked him how long he had known it was there, because honestly, it was so small, I couldn't have seen it unless I was inspecting him on purpose. He said a little while, and asked me if I had any STD's and I said that I didn't, because I knew for a fact that I had not. I have been tested extensively up to this point and knew I was clean and hadn't been with anyone for some time, over a year and a half before he and I met.
This is honestly kind of the breaking point for me, because I then asked him if he had been safe with the male he had fooled around with before me, remembering full well he had told me before that he was. This time though, he said that a condom had not been used and I knew in my heart that my husband was in the very least, a liar. Should I mention that our sexual relations typically, 99% of the time, involve me as the enforcer or top? That I have to regularly dominate my husband to engage in sexual relations and arouse him? That he regularly requests or is open to anal sex, and having had this kind of relationship with a guy before who did enjoy anal penetration, understand that an orifice doesn't give that easily without regular use and guess what? My husband is advancing beyond the scope of our play, leading me to suspect someone else is going there too.
At this point, everything he had said and done was suspect and I began to believe that he has only married me for the increase in BaH, and that he actually has me convinced that he loves me and wants to be with me, but is really low-key roping me into a contract marriage against my consent. I think he has brought home an STD, have to wait until my checkup after the 1st to confirm or refute. I am prone to overthinking and anxiety but seldom have I been wrong about people, being a notoriously quick read of someones intentions but a buffoon when it comes to avoiding them. The arguments I have against his using me is that he DOES take me home to his family. That he married me despite anyone trying to stand in our way and at no time does he hide me, or run away from me but I have a nagging suspicion still that he is leading a double life.
I have the means to involve a P.I if need be, but I don't know if I should. I also need some kind of solid ground to stand on before I begin the process of ensuring he will or will not benefit from my demise, something now that would leave him half a million or more richer depending on the status of things when I die. He has life insurance on me also, through the Army, but guess what? I'm not the beneficiary of his at all. That's still in his mother's name and did I mention I am becoming afraid of him? Afraid enough that I will no longer backpack or journey far off the beaten path with him without resources to get myself or him to safety A.S.A.P.
Edit(s): I had to add a detail or two and correct typos, improve readability.
Border Clash Teaser (does this make you want to read more?)
The platoon’s patch of real estate was nothing special. Just a line of little shacks and hastily built sandbag bunkers strung out along the Rio Grande, separated from each other by miles of scrubland, but tethered to each other, and the COC which was being quarterbacked by SSG Teverbaugh, by radios and field phones.
Not a lot of attention was being paid to this area, since it wasn’t on a major route used by the human smugglers, known locally as Coyotes. But in order to keep this from becoming a smuggler’s back road, somebody had to sit out there and keep an eye on the damn place. It wasn’t a bad gig, just a dull one. Watch the Cameras, do the Radio checks, send out the QRF if the posts don’t respond.
SSG Teverbaugh looked up from his Ipad, and focused on the big digital clock on the wall with bleary eyes. 2347. He still had six hours and a handful of minutes before SFC Reynosa showed up with the night shift’s relief. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head, attempting to stretch the weariness from his body. He looked over at the two soldiers, A Specialist and a Private First Class, sitting at desks, with monitors and comm gear on them. Both of them were staring at their phones as well, rather than doing their jobs. Teverbaugh knew he shouldn’t let it slide, but what could he say? He had been doing the same thing most of that evening.
Boredom was the biggest enemy on this patch of the border. Nobody came through here, especially now that guard posts containing Texas Army National Guard fire teams had gone up. Four guys with night vision and loaded rifles could make things difficult for your average Coyote.
The silence of the COC was pierced by the squelch of a SINGARSs radio. All three of the Guardsmen turned to look at the Radio.
“COC, this is Barbwire 4” A bored sounding voice rolled out of the speaker. Barbwire 4 was the call sign for the fire team in post 4.
The Specialist rolled his eyes, a kid by the name of Garcia, as if having to stop browsing Tinder for five minutes was some stygian task. He sighed and picked up the handset closest to him, bringing it up to his head.
“Barbwire 4, go ahead for COC” He responded
“Yeah, just a heads up.” Barbwire 4 said through the loud speaker “We just had a couple of good ole boys roll up on us in a pick-up, from the American side. They wanted to know if we had seen anything odd. Told them we couldn’t discuss that with them. They left. Over”
“Roger that, Barbwire 4” Garcia responded, rolling his eyes at what he felt was a total waste of his time. He looked over at the PFC, whose name was Brown, and nodded at the watch log book. Brown took the hint, and started logging in the radio traffic.
“Did they seem threatening or shady or anything like that?” Garcia queried
“They seemed a little out of place” Barbwire 4 responded “Both of them were clean shaven, clothes were clean, decent haircuts. Don’t think they were locals”
The buck Sergeant running the Fire Team that was manning Barbwire 4 was a veteran of more than one combat deployment. When somebody was obviously not a local, especially when somebody was poking around your position and obviously not a local, common sense dictates you should run that up the chain. The border deployment, however, was Specialist Hector Garcia’s first ‘Deployment.’ He did not have the sort of instincts which were ingrained in Sergeant Reynaldo ‘Ray’ Gutierrez.
“Roger that, Barbwire 4” He responded, making a masturbatory gesture with his freehand, while rolling his eyes again.
SSG Teverbaugh slapped the Specialist across the back of the head as he yanked the handset away from his head. Garcia vigorously rubbed the back of his head, and starred up at Teverbaugh like a kicked puppy. Teverbaugh ignored him.
“Hey, Goot” He said into the hand set “It’s Tever. What did they do when you didn’t tell them anything?”
“They just sort of looked at each other and shrugged, after that they got back in their truck and drove back into the desert. We lost eyes on them as they drove into the Hills behind us. Truck is a beat up old black Ford. Anderson says it’s a Mid 90s F-250. Over.”
“Roger that” Teverbaugh responded “If you think it was strange, we’ll pass it on to Border Patrol and DPS. Meantime, stay alert. Might not be anything, but you know how it goes. How copy?”
“Barbwire 4 Copies all, I thought it was goofy. Over”
“Roger, we’ll send it up. Over and out” Teverbaugh dropped the handset on the desk. He looked over at Brown. “You get all that?”
“Yes, Sergeant” Brown nodded in the affirmative.
“Good, get BPD and DPS on the hook and pass it along, let them know we are in no danger, and do not require assistance, we are just keeping them informed. Ask if they have anything on two guys in a black Mid-nineties F-250.” Tever commanded. Brown turned and picked up the COC Landline and got to calling. Teverbaugh turned his attention to Garcia. Murder in his eyes. Garcia instinctively shot to attention, anticipating the ass chewing he knew was coming.
“So you want to act like one of my NCOs is wasting your goddamn time?” Teverbaugh growled “You think that Sergeant doesn’t know what the fuck is what? You been in my fucking weekend gun club for all of a year, and you think you know whats what? Good bitch. HALF RIGHT! FACE! FRONT LEANING REST POSITION! MOVE!”
“Barbwire 2, COC, Radio Check” Brown said into his hand set.
“COC, Barbwire 2, I got you Loud and….. Hey you hear that?” The Later part sounded like Barbwire 2 had his mouth away from his handset, and was speaking to someone else on his post.
Brown could faintly hear someone in the back ground mention that it “Sounded like far away gunfire” before the transmission on Barbwire 2’s end clicked off. As soon as the net was clear, the loud speaker immediately got loud again.
“BREAK BREAK!” a voice yelled across the radio “We can hear gunfire coming from the south of us, the direction of Barbwire 5!”
That would have been the specialist in charge of Barbwire 6.
“COC, Barbwire 4” Sgt Gutierrez came over the net again ‘We hear it too! 4 to 5, roger up!”
When no immediate response came, Gutierrez tried to get a response again. No Joy. Teverbaugh was on his station pulling up the feed from Barbwire 5’s camera. It displayed a dark screen, with the text ‘No Feed’ in white letters, dead center of the screen.
“COC to Bowie Knife!” Teverbaugh yelled into the radio. Bowie Knife was the call sign for the Quick Reaction Force. A squad of soldiers that basically spent the shift sitting on their trucks, waiting for a problem that only thirteen men with guns could handle to arise.
“We’re already leaving the Alamo, COC” Staff Sergeant Jarron Budden, Element Commander for the QRF, Responded. He was that sort of guy. He had a real talent for being Three Steps ahead of the game. Back in Oklahoma City, where Budden was born and raised, this ahead of the game mindset had earned him the nickname ‘Three Step.’
Budden looked over at his drive and made a ‘Go faster’ Motion. As the three truck convoy cleared the gate of the Temporary compound, The Driver did his best to make the gas pedal meld with the floor. The trucks roared off into the night time desert. The Soldiers standing in the turrets didn’t have heavy guns, so they made do with rifles poking out of turrets